A Line In The Sand

A Final Thank You From Theater

As I sit in my tent this afternoon, I’m writing to you realizing that this may be my last post while in theater.  With our re-deployment impending, our access to regular internet usage has declined and there is still so much we have to finish before we leave.  I never thought I would write this, but leaving will be bittersweet.  Anyone who has been deployed can attest to the feeling you have when you are about to leave a place like this.  The desire of a return to some semblance of normalcy runs deep, it consumes your thoughts everyday.  Time passes between you and your battle buddies by talking about all the things you wish you could be doing right that moment.  Conversations turn to thinking about what your friends are enjoying on any given night.  You realize after a 12 hour day that it’s Saturday, and back home your friends are sleeping in, and doing whatever they feel like doing that day.  You wish you could just get into your car and drive, anywhere. 

I always say I’d go the local Starbucks and buy a nice venti latte, maybe even buy two or three if I want.  My mind goes to afternoon drives down Pacific Coast Highway, pulling off in Hunting Beach or Seal Beach to go to my favorite Mexican food restaurants, or meeting up with friends in the evening to sit around and talk about politics, and life and dreams we have, all while practicing the zen art of shooting darts.  I think about sitting around with my friend Ian playing guitar and writing our own compositions for no one but ourselves, just to relieve stress.  I think about walking around Barnes and Noble on a Sunday afternoon, browsing the titles and thumbing through my favorite magazines.  If you want to know what you crave as a soldier who is deployed, think of all the routines you have, the routines you take for granted, and those are the things you want to do.  Think about dropping the kids off for school, of watching television in your favorite armchair in the evening, or even walking through the grocery store.  You can even think about the things you don’t enjoy, like going to a normal day job or cleaning your house or apartment, and I guarantee that there is a soldier craving those activities right now.  They are all things I know I’ve said I’ll never take for granted again.

And yet, while vowing to never take things for granted, I am looking back on this year, even the lowest points, and realizing that these are things I may not experience again and that maybe there were times I even took this for granted.  In a way, I’ll miss the conversations I’ve had with my friends here, about all the things we’re missing.  I’ll miss the sense of purpose you have when you wake up for a shift and know that you’re part of something larger than yourself.  I’ll miss the solidarity you feel with men and women who are going through all the same feelings you are, but who are all enduring through them together, in good times and bad.  I’ll miss the sense of anticipation that there is finality to the hard times, that there is a definite end to this long and strange chapter in anyone’s life.  There is something to be said about knowing you can’t be here forever, that no matter how you feel, things will get better, and they’ll do so by the mere fact that soon, never soon enough, but soon you will be home. 

I write to you all today knowing that even if we only exchanged a few e-mails, I feel as though I made a friend for life.  I also write this entry today with regret that I was never able to write back to all of you.  In fact, I can tell you now that throughout this year, the only regret I can say I will live with was not writing to more of you.  When those glorious days off would come around, I always had such great expectations that I would sit down at a computer and knock out a couple hundred e-mails just to say thanks for the support.  Unfortunately, on far too many of those days off I usually just went to chow and stayed in my tent reading a book or preparing a law school application.  For those of you who read this, I want you to know I appreciate absolutely every word you have said.  The support was overwhelming, and I am not ashamed to say that many of your letters brought tears to my eyes.  Though my blog may have put a face and a name to what may seem like a faceless war for many of you, the e-mails, the care packages, the letters and the support put a name and sometimes a face as well to the heart of true American patriots.  As I said to some of you, soldiers may be the fists of American might and goodwill, but you are all the heart and the backbone of America.  You support us in our mission, you give us the strength to go on when the days seem so long you just want to throw up your hands and quit.  It always seemed that letters of support came at the moments I needed them most, and they were always uplifting.  Even the letters from folks who disagreed gave me strength, because I knew in those moments that what I was writing was being read and was having an impact.  My mission was not to change hearts or even to change minds on the war, but merely to open minds as to what one soldier was experiencing, what he was thinking about, what was weighing particularly heavy on his heart. 

The heart of America’s patriots is one of the things I have discovered more than anything else on this deployment.  Despite the rhetoric that seemed to go back and forth in the United States on the war, the one thing I am most proud of is the hope that the American people hold for those in Iraq.  People from across the world may find it hard to believe that the worlds greatest power would be willing to expend its treasure, and even more importantly some of its greatest citizens, just to help out another nation.  Regardless of where we started with this war, I believe that this is where we currently stand.  We are an incredible nation, I feel that in the depths of my bones, I can sense it in my spirit.  Your support of us solidifies that sense, it shows me what being a patriot is, it encourages me to do the same when I return.  I too plan on “Adopting a Platoon” once I am a civilian again, on writing letters of support to those soldiers currently away from friends and family. 

To answer a quick question, I do plan on continuing my blogging experience when I return.  In fact, between now and then I’ll probably have a lot to write.  Once our unit is safe and sound in the US again, I’ll probably have even more experiences to share with you.  I am definitely going to try and post from our re-deployment station, but I am not sure if time and internet access will permit it.  Be sure to check back around mid March, when I’ll probably begin posting more regularly again. 

I also want you to know that I am thinking about a small writing project along the lines I wrote about above regarding patriotism in America when I return, probably involving another blog.  I have sensed the heart of American patriots, and want to do everything I can to foster that in the coming months.  If you have an interest in helping me specifically with the project, I have set up another e-mail account for this. (chrismissick@yahoo.com)  I probably won’t have a chance to check it until I return, but I assure you I will be much more diligent with my e-mail once I have more time on my hands.  So as far as future plans, stay tuned. 

Ten Things I Won't Miss

I am finally recovering from a sinus infection that has plagued me this last week.  They have something over here they refer to as the Kuwaiti Crud, a form of congestion that seems to consume you when you first get in theater.  For some reason, with the exception of being sick in the summer, I managed to allude any ill health throughout my deployment until the very end. 

Indeed, I can say we have neared the end.  In the span of a few weeks or days, I will be on a plane bound for the United States.  There is no feeling quit like the one I am experiencing.  There is so much to anticipate in these closing days, and yet still so much to reflect on.  I imagine it will take a little while to decompress everything that has built up inside over the last year, from the good to the bad.  Nonetheless, I look forward to coming home.  I was fortunate enough to have been able to purchase a house which I’ll be moving into when I get back.  It’s something that a lot of soldiers plan on wile they’re deployed.  Because we have such a great opportunity to save money and because we have the benefit of VA home loans, many of the people I serve with have set their sights on fulfilling a key aspect of the American dream when they return.  I am fortunate and owe a debt of gratitude to my family for helping me with the process.  I was able to use JAG to get a special power of attorney for my parents, who in turn made the dream a reality.  A year ago, I wouldn’t have dreamt of the opportunity to own my own home this young, but today I am able to stand proud as a homeowner.  Buying a home really is a humbling experience.  To enter into the “ownership society,” you also realize the heavy responsibilities it means as well.  I can’t say I am not a little nervous about the whole prospect, but any sense of nerves is overshadowed by the joy of knowing I now have my own home. 

In speaking with a friend the other night, he asked me what I was planning on doing when I got home.  The answers probably won’t surprise you.  In thinking about what I wanted to do, I quickly transitioned to the things I’ll be happy not to have to do.  As a result, I compiled a small, rather tame list of 10 things I will be happy to leave behind when we re-deploy. 

1.   Walking what feels like a mile to the showers only to be covered in sand once you come back to your tent.  Not running out of water when you’re taking a shower, or having to use a bottle of water to brush your teeth. 
2.   Relaxing in July and August in the shade of 120 degrees.
3.   The aggressive fly’s. At home when you swat at a fly it goes away.  Here, when you swat at a fly, they seek revenge.
4.   The smell.  Everything here has a smell, from the sand to the air.
5.   The generators, the constant hum of a generators, trucks, artillery shells in the distance.
6.   Living out of duffel bag or black footlocker.
7.   Checking your boots in the morning for camel spiders and scorpions.
8.   The port-o-potties, especially in the summer.  Using a real porcelain, clean toilet that flushes will be heaven. 
9.    Finding dead rats in the rat traps in the middle of the night.
10. Sleeping in a tent with 8-10 other guys.

Minor inconveniences they may be, but they are still things you look forward to leaving behind.

Potential Impacts of Blogging on Government

A few years ago I read a book by Dick Morris entitled Vote.com.  The text makes the argument that the internet is changing the world around us, and that impact will ultimately be felt within the government itself.  Instant global communication will ultimately hold the potential to make government more responsive by engaging more citizens in politics on a national and local scale.  The book was published in 1999, several years before many of us had even heard the word “blog.”  As a result, his analysis of what the internet will do for a country, specifically a republic, was skewed from what I believe we are seeing played out before us today. 

Morris’ argument was that individuals would come to favor specific journalists over the media outlets they work for, making them essentially free agents in the world of information.  Additionally, voting would ultimately be taken from the local precinct ballot booth, into the privacy of ones home through the use of the web.  This would produce a shift from the Madisonian republic we are all familiar with today where representatives do our bidding on legislative issues, to a more Jeffersonian concept of democracy, where the will of the people is heard directly on a wide array of issues.  The internet may then serve as the link between the democracy of the city-state of Athens, and our own republic.  Such a link would have been impossible to make before the internet enabled a mass engagement of millions of Americans at one time. Although I do not doubt that such a scenario may occur, it is clear to me as I was thinking about this specific book the other day, that blogs may just be the most revolutionary aspect of the internet that will have long-term affects on the way government operates, perhaps even more revolutionary than the potentially inevitable breakthrough of online voting.  As for a shift to a more Jeffersonian America, I personally do not foresee a change that is all that drastic.  Granted, people will feel more empowered to voice opinions and offer their views to a wider audience, but the fact remains that between public opinion polls and more importantly election results, our citizens have a means to implement the leaders in their own districts that share the closest short-term and long-term goals.  The constitutional fundamentals of our nation will not change to the degree Morris described in Vote.com.

Ultimately however, it is clear that blogs will have an even larger impact on our nation than was imagined in the mid 90’s.  In terms of journalism, the Eason Jordan and Dan Rather stories are two prime examples of how citizens can serve as media watchdogs and create major changes in the way we receive our news.  Likewise, I feel the impact will be felt shortly on the federal government and “big business” as whistleblowers on a variety fronts write about the infractions of law and ethics they see around them.  Being in OIF for the last year and not examining American politics as closely as I usually do, I can not speak of the significance blogs had on the most recent elections.  I can cite however, that this blog proved to be a whistleblower at one point, stating exactly as I saw it, what occurred at the Rumsfeld event a few months back. 

Aside from forcing information into the public domain that may have otherwise been hidden, I believe blogs will force government to be more open on their own.  I foresee in the coming decade, blogs established by nearly all governmental bodies, from cities to Congressional districts, to the Supreme Court (possibly), as a way to keep the public informed on the key issues, mistakes made, and successes won on behalf of our elected leaders.  We may even reach a point of information saturation, but I believe it is a better scenario to have citizens know more about their government and the directions their tax dollars take than less.  I believe we will see more genuine blogs come out of future elections than we saw in the most recent elections.  It may just be that whether or not a politician has his/her own blog is a sign of how open he/she is to discourse with the constituency they wish to represent.

I see yet another manifestation of what blogs may do for our government.  Today, blogs are a very personal way to communicate.  You can read the thoughts of one person, and comment directly with them why you agree or feel they are wrong or misguided.  This very blog has given many of you the chance to interact with me, a soldier who is thousands of miles away and who happens to hold some passionate views about why we are here.  In this personal interaction, a relationship of mutual trust often develops where ideology may have otherwise blocked two individuals from meeting and discussing issues.  Blogs may finally bring the personal touch back to politics that was lost when television and mass media became the primary route for dispensing information and ideas.  They will also give those interested much more of an opportunity to learn at depth what a candidate believes on a given issue, rather than the thirty second clichés and platitudes we are all used to hearing.  Perhaps it will be blogs that bridge the gap of winning the minds of Americans that I was speaking about a few days ago. 

So with an emphatic embrace of blogs and blogging technology, I look forward to what may come of online self-publishing.  It is only a matter of time before we sit around discussing with bewilderment, a time when blogging didn’t exist.

SGT Kiel

Just wanted to give a plug to SGT Kiel who has been working with the Iraqi National Guard.  He is currently accepting donations of specific items to distribute to the ING to help them be better equipped.  Check him out at: http://stevenkiel.blogspot.com/

7th Sig Challenge Coin

Yesterday, a group of us were given a Challenge Coin for the brigade we served under for the first part of our deployment.  These coins were given to all members of the unit as a token of gratitude for completing the mission we had been assigned.  I took the picture to the left to give you all a glimpse of what it looks like.  To explain the history of how such coins came about, I found a page that described their origin in detail.  You can read the whole article here, but I have also pasted an excerpt below.

In the U.S. military, the tradition goes back to the early 1960s. A member of the 11th Special Forces Group took old coins, had them over stamped with a different emblem, then presented them to unit members, according to Roxanne Merritt, curator of the John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Museum at Fort Bragg, N.C. A former commander of the 10th SFG pick2ed up on the idea, becoming the first to mint a unit coin for a U.S. military unit. The 10th Group remained the only Army unit with its own coin until the mid-1980s, Merritt said, when "an explosion took place and everybody started minting coins."

The Means Of Winning Hearts and Minds

For the time being, the calls for winning the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people have subsided as news reports continue to astound the readers back home of the level of violence still prevalent in a post-election Iraq.  Although I am sure we are simply witnessing an intermission in the long chorus of pundits and critics who believe we still have a long way to go before we can leave Iraq a better place than we found it, there is a cause that I believe we must also turn our eyes towards, a cause forgotten for too long.

For months now, I have written of a “greater game-plan” involved with the war in Iraq.  The concept is one rooted in great optimism, true idealism, and the spread of freedom, but it is also a strategy that involves a high level of risk and has claimed more than a thousand lives.  I see the planting of the republican seed in Iraq as a plausible means to hopefully peaceful ends that will see the Middle East remove the shackles of tyranny within my lifetime, and reject the violent paths of political Islam.  Victor Davis Hanson published an excellent piece on why such hopes may not just be fanciful dreams, but are grounded in a history of democratic expansionism.  You can read that article here.  But my main point is less that such a philosophy may or may not succeed, it is simply that I see far too many people who do not adequately understand the long term plan of our war in Iraq and Afghanistan.  In speaking with folks back home, whether by phone, e-mail or on R&R, speaking of the dominoes of democracy is like illuminating a whole new line of thinking in regards to the War on Terror.  Now, I understand that readers of my blog tend to have a much more firm grasp on the wider elements of the debate on how best to pursue the War on Terror.  Many disagree with my positions, and as long as their disagreements are well-founded, I respect the dissent of those individuals who believe our actions of the last three years have been rooted in folly.  However, with such a large swath of the American electorate sublimely unaware of the peripheral debate occurring in regards to the War on Terror, I feel it is crucial at this point in history that our citizenry become more acquainted with the paths our nation has begun to tread and the direction that our current administration is seeking to move. 

If I were in a position where I could have influenced the public relations campaign of administration policy, one of the suggestions I would have made to the President would have been to begin a lengthy series of speeches/town hall meetings with the American people.  From leading military brass, to secretary level political appointees, to the intellectuals who helped formulate the Bush Policy on spreading freedom, to the President himself, I would have created an extensive number of such meetings, engaging the American public in the philosophical debate that had been occurring behind closed doors.  The how’s and why’s of Islamic terror ought to have been addressed at length in televised events that would have given the general public a better understanding on why we were embarking on the path we were.  Likewise, the solutions that Administration officials perceived would have been implanted in the political conscience of American voters, and an open and honest debate would have been more effective in the months leading up to Operation Iraqi Freedom.  Such a national discourse could have proven to be advantageous, combining the academic with the political in a forum on how best to tackle those individuals and ideologies that seek to destroy the West.  Instead, lengthy debate was relegated to national journals and periodicals, generally in a partisan fashion, and most of the public viewed debate primarily through the eyes of commentators who offered sound bites on cable news channels.  As I remember, there was rarely a period where the American public were engaged in in a much more calm and collected discourse, where the options the Administration was choosing were weighed against the reservations of an average citizen who rose to ask the questions that were on the minds of millions.  Perhaps such an expectation of dialogue seems irrational, or itself too idealistic, but sometimes I just feel as though the American people are not given enough credit when it comes to their attention span on matters that touch as close to home as terrorism and war. 

We are at a point where the role of Monday morning quarterbacking proves ineffective.  The national debate continues half informed on both sides of the political aisle.  Simply put, we can not turn back the clock and attempt to explain our actions to those Americans currently in doubt about what we hope to achieve.  Such speech would appear to back-peddling and last minute justifications to a war that was based on objects we have yet to find.  In more recent speeches, the President has articulated even clearer the end goals of our wars in the Islamic world, but the fact remains that a more constant discourse may have proven to be even more effective had it occurred several years ago. 

Clearly, this war has brought to the table of military planners and political leaders an entire course of lessons which must be learned.  I have hope that the lessons learned will be implemented into future policy.  What I hope we have learned most of all however, is that in war we can not only focus on winning the hearts and minds of a nation we have set out to free, but that first and foremost we must focus on winning the hearts and minds of the American people.  This is not done solely through emotional patriotic rouses, where the beautiful song “God Bless America” is sung in front of a massive flag as fireworks illuminate the sky overhead.  There is a place and time for such group oriented displays of national pride.  Such action however, only captures Americans for as long as they are enjoying such events.  To win the minds of the American public, a less emotional and more honest and direct approach must be taken.  We can all enjoy listening to music, but it is difficult to comprehend the intricacies of a jazz composition by Thelonious Monk without understanding the theory behind his masterpieces.  Having paved the way for many other bebop artists, and developing the use of dissonance, his style did not always appeal to a mass audience.  Perhaps, in the case of his music, you may even dislike Monk, but having learned the methods that led to his creations you will at least garner a respect for the man and his music.  I believe the same principles can be applied within our own republic.  A government or specific political faction may be able to temporarily win the support for their given plan, but without accurate understanding as to why that plan has been chosen, we are walking a blind path of short term, feel-good politics, rather than a long-term road of carefully considered policy. 

Ultimately, we must never forget that the hearts and minds of Americans in regards to policy and action must first be won before we can hope to earn the respect and cooperation of others who clearly do not see the world as we do.  This is hardly a call for government propaganda, for I feel we are entering an era of the “reasoned patriot,” rather than the “patriot of the gut,” that is that patriot which can only express their patriotism in overt displays that are designed to incite strong emotional responses.  Let us balance out the hearts and minds concept and develop ourselves in this crucial era of freedom’s march, and let the leaders we elect on both the right and the left have faith that our citizens will heed their duties as citizens and carefully weigh the options we have before us.

New Pictures

The next few weeks are bound to give me plenty of time for introspection, soaking in all that has happened over the last year.  We are short, and I know that before I even realize it, California will be welcoming me home.  I've blocked off some time tomorrow to try and write a little more, as well as work on another podcast.  In the meantime, I have a few new pictures you can browse.  I'll be adding the link to the "Pictures" page soon, in the meantime, simply click on this link.

Podcast #2

I have to say, Podcasting has become a small addiction for me.  Ever since I posted the first one, and received a flood of wonderful comments, I've been working in my time off to put together another one.  Fortunately the whole process is very simple and not time consuming. 

As I mentioned before, to listen simply click on the link and it will play through your browser.  If you are trying to listen to it via a phone modem, it may take a little while.  You can also download the file to listen to later by rightclicking on the link, choosing "save as," and saving it on your computer. 

SGT Missick: OIF Podcast #2 (time: 13:29, 7.9 mb)

SGT Missick: OIF Podcast #1 (time: 11:00, 7mb)

I also had a number of people mention in comments how much they enjoyed the music.  For the most part, I try to highlight artists who are prolific, but not very well known.  I have included the song titles by the artists who are featured and I encourage you to pick up their cd's if you enjoy some of the samples I've provided.

The order for this broadcast is:

Intro Music: Allison Krauss and Union Station, "Restless"
Intro: Sgt. Missick
Music Interlude: Knievel, "The Name Rings A Bell"
Soundscape: Generators
Music Interlude: Natural Vibrations, "Freedom Fighters"
Interview: SSG Nauenberg
Music Interlude: Holly Williams, "Between Your Lines"
Intro To Next Discussion: Missick
Music Interlude: Pedro the Lion, "Transcontinental"
Interview: SPC Tracey
Closing Music: Iron and Wine, "Sunset Soon Forgotten"

Some Thoughts on TR and GW

“The mad plunge of ours is simply and solely a vulgar and mercenary adventure, without a rag to cover its subordinates and shame….At one stroke, President --------- and Secretary --- have thrown to the winds the principles for which this nation was ready to go to war in the past, and have committed the country to a policy which is ignoble beyond words.”  New York Evening Post

After a five month hiatus in my reading of the sequel to Edmund Morris’ biography of President Roosevelt (his first book on the President being The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt), I delved back into his excellent book, Theodore Rex recently.  In one particular chapter, Mr. Morris gives a detailed account of the stress that acquisition rights to build the Panama Canal brought to Roosevelt's presidency.  The quote above, referring to President Roosevelt and Secretary Hay, expressed the sentiment of one of the nations leading editorialists at the time.  As I read it, I felt the weight of editorials aimed at our current president over the last few years resurrected to the forefront of my mind. 

It also made me think of the rhetorical comment that we live in extraordinary times.  Indeed, these are times that try the souls of American’s, yet they are simply a part of the ongoing struggle that we Americans have been a part of.  The history of the Panama Canal is taught in American high schools as an event of incredible human engineering.  Rarely discussed is the advancement of republican ideals that were occurring at the same time.  Panama, existing essentially as a territory of Columbia, recognized the benefits that the canal would bring to the Panamanians.  The longstanding movement of independence and representative rule converged with the interests of Panamanians to become the gateway between East and West for trade, and together, they presided over a revolution of sorts.  President Roosevelt deployed warships to ensure that the fledgling Panamanian government could be established peacefully and with as little bloodshed as possible.

It was in reaction to this move by President Roosevelt that many in the anti-imperialist league in the States, as well as members of the Presidents opposition seized on the opportunity to attack Roosevelt.  I am by no means a scholar on Panamanian history, but we do not need to go very far back to recognize the difficulties American soldiers faced in Panama a little more than a decade ago.  Despite the problems that have occurred in Panama over the course of the last 100 years since the move towards independence began, it is generally agreed that the actions taken by the President were hardly unconstitutional, and were certainly not “ignoble beyond words.” 

Three years ago, when talk of the war in Iraq split neighborhoods into those who supported the war and those who opposed it, many of these same words were said about our president.  Indeed, much worse was written about the man and his secretary whom some pundits claimed were throwing to the “winds the principles for which this nation was ready to go to war in the past.”  Regardless of those statements, our current President has endured in the same spirit of his political ancestors, President Roosevelt and President Wilson, by doing what was best in a long term plan for our nation, as well as advancing the cause for representative government.

As elections in Iraq have now taken place, and much remains to be seen as to how the Iraqi people will shape their nation, I believe the best option we have as a people is to focus on the exit strategy already illuminated by the President.  In training the Iraqi defense structure, preparing their nation for stability, and safeguarding the interests of the American people in the United States, we are enacting our exit strategy.  When I speak of the interests of the American people, I refer specifically to the continued belief in expanding the crescent of freedom I spoke of months ago, spanning from Morocco to Pakistan.  I know much more is needed in the Middle East than representative republicanism if we are to end terrorism, but I believe it allows the citizenry of these nations the ability to express their frustrations politically rather than violently.  As republicanism is adopted and adapted in this part of the world, diplomacy will become more effective.  I yearn to seek solutions with nations diplomatically, but as long as tyranny pulls the strings of diplomacy, peace can not be secured. 

I’ve long believed that freedom is the intrinsic calling of all peoples, and I feel that peace is the hope of all generations.  I hope we can ultimately continue that march to peace, yet I believe it will only come when the people have a direct voice in their own governments, when they feel empowered to control their own destinies, and are not forced to adopt destructive and radical ideologies to express their sense of powerlessness.  Republicanism gives them such an option, and a means to achieve the peaceful ends to difficult situations.  As satirical as it sounds to say that we must make the world safe for democracy, I believe what we are actually saying is that we are making the world safe for peace.  I hope with all my heart, for the Iraqi people and the American people, that Iraq is one step in that process.  I hope that another war will not be needed to advance the agenda.  Ultimately however, we can not keep our eyes off the end goal.

Valentines

Another holiday approaches, and yet it will likely feel as though it is just another day here in OIF.  I was delighted yesterday however, to receive a package from my first valentine, my mom.  She really is wonderful about remembering holidays, regardless of how insignificant they are.  I can always count on a card or a care package before the date arrives.  Yesterday, I received some Valentines candy, chocolate hearts and the like.  It’s nice to know we are at the time of year where we don’t have to worry about the heat spoiling or melting any of the foods I receive.  I went nearly 6 months without chocolate chip cookies, one of my admitted addictions.  If that is not a testament to the personal tests being in theater provides, I don’t know what is!

Along with the candy were a couple magazines, National Geographic and Business Week.  Fortunately, I am able to have my subscriptions to The Economist and The New Yorker forwarded to me out here, and as for the other periodicals I enjoy, she always gets them to me soon. 

I had sent her a card last week wishing her a happy Valentines Day.  In my freshman year of college, when the bombing campaign in Kosovo began, I had a dream that I was in uniform, serving our country at wartime.  I don’t know what to make of such dreams.  It was probably less a premonition than a case of watching too much CNN.  After telling her about that dream in the early spring of 99, she told me that one of her greatest fears for both her son’s were that they would have to go to war.  For more than two years, I had not thought about that dream or that conversation until a few days after 9/11.  While in AIT at Fort Gordon, I remembered vague details from that day, and realized that the odds were high that I was going to find myself in a situation similar to what I had dreamed.  I honestly didn’t know at the time what my fate would be, but I was happy to reassure my mom in my Valentines message that my time in this war is coming to a close, and soon the worries she had will just be memories of agitated night’s sleep, and difficult afternoons hoping the phone would ring with a simple hello.  For some reason, I always blend the hello with a “how ya doing mom?”  I wonder if those simple words bring her comfort every time I say them…I am sure they do. 

This may be the last holiday away for a while, which makes it even sweeter for all of us. 

Also: Be sure to check out SomeSoldiersMom.  It sounds as if "Some Soldier" can be expecting something just as sweet.  She also has an excellent post with thoughts on the individuals who created the "fake kidnap images."